I made the call

Posted: July 14, 2015 in Musings
Tags: , , , , , , ,

My counselor called me back and gave me Audrey’s number. It took a few days, but I made the call.

I finally over came my fear of calling a complete stranger, and a hair stylist to boot, and telling her about having this disorder and the possibility of me getting hair extensions.

I know that if I had a way to go back and listen to that call I would hear my voice shaking. Of course I thought of everything I would say and what order I’d say it in, etc. But when I heard her voice on the other end my brain just went to mush.

Surprisingly, she had heard of people pulling their hair out, she said they learn about that stuff when they go to school to become hair dressers, she just did not know what it was called.

I’m a big baby and I teared up a little bit when I explained to her that I was going to be a bridesmaid in a few weeks and I’d love to have long hair for the wedding. She sensed my worry and anxiety and very politely told me that there was no way she would laugh at me because she has also had issues with anxiety and depression.

Now, when someone tells you they also have anxiety and depression a part of you says, “No, you just think you do.” Because, after all there is no way they can know what you are going through. You’ve met enough people who have exaggerated things in their life, blown them out of proportion and called it anxiety before really understanding what that means  . . . what it is like to have actual, diagnosed acute anxiety.

I have since learned that this woman has her own very dark demons and she really does “get it.” More on that later in the post.

During the phone call she told me that the first step would be to set up a consolation so that she could see my hair and know what needed to be done.

We set an appointment for 5:30 p.m. the next day. She told me she wanted to schedule an appointment for the evening so there would not be too many people there.

I can’t say that I slept well that night. Though she made me feel incredibly comfortable on the phone I still had to actually meet her face to face and worse, she would have to examine my hair.

I can’t stand having my hair touched. I don’t even like letting my husband touch it. Weird, I know, because I touch it all day. Maybe that’s it, I just touch it enough for everybody. 🙂

The next day, at the salon, I walked in and there she was. She invited me to sit down at her station and for a bit we just talked. I cried, again, you see, I am a big baby. She handed me a tissue and told me that it was OK to cry. I was just so overwhelmed in the moment. I had not been in a salon for more than 20 years. Pardon my French, but Holy Shit — I am in a salon talking about my hair with someone I don’t know at all.

She took me in the back and washed my hair. She gave me a sample of this special stuff, I have really, really curly hair, and this stuff is especially for curly hair, it is amazing. I can’t remember what it is called off the top of my head (no pun intended) but when I find out I will share it on my blog.

She took me in the back and washed my hair, holy anxiety!  At one point she looked at me and said, “You don’t have to carry your shame.” I teared up again and she said, “Did that hit home?” When I said yes she replied with “I know.”

She told me about a guy named Dr. Bradshaw who teaches people how to let go of their shame. Here is a link to his web site: http://www.johnbradshaw.com/

I honestly have not had time to check it out yet, but I plan to. I will read anything that will help.

After the washing we went back to her station and another stylist, Nicole, came over to talk to me too. Nicole is the salon’s hair extension specialist. She asked for permission before she touched my hair, which was absolutely amazing. By this time I had loosened up quite a bit. . .

She told me that extensions are possible, but it takes seven days for them to come in after they are ordered, so we had to get a move on for them to be in on time. And of course, the curly hair extensions are more expensive. I was concerned that they would not be able to match my color . . . I have strawberry blonde hair. If I quit messing with it and it grew out it would look like this:



Holy cow I wish I looked like that.

Ya. That is what I am missing out on.

Surprisingly Nicole said that matching my color would not be a problem. Awesome! One thing that I did not know before this experience is that stylists have access to purchasing high-end hair care stuff that is not generally available to the public. If you are a licensed stylist, you can create accounts on hair styling web sites and order stuff. This is the web site we looked at:   http://hotheadshairwear.com/productextensions.html

Nicole had to leave but said that we’d be in touch.

I ended up staying and visiting with Audrey for probably more than an hour. Have you ever met someone that you just clicked with? She made me feel totally at ease. It sounds cliché, but I felt like I’d known her for years.

She told me a few things about herself . . . remember earlier when I said that she really does get it?

She is a recovering alcoholic who had been sexually abused as a child. She understands anxiety and depression. That’s how my counselor knows her and why she recommended me to her. It all made sense in the moments after she confessed those things to me. When she tells me she is not going to laugh at me or judge me I believe her.

When I left she hugged me and told me that I would be in her prayers (She’s also a born-again Christian) and that I could text her any, ANY time if I needed someone to talk to.

I think that what I got most out of our meeting was knowing that someone I’d never met really cared about me and wanted to help me feel better. We live in a world where it seems that everybody is out only for themselves, and to know that she honestly and truly sees my pain and wants to help is truly amazing. I’m still kind of in awe over it.

I have another appointment tonight. In a text she says that they might need to apply a relaxer to my hair before they can put in the extensions. I bet that is what we will be talking about tonight.

I am nervous,  but not nearly as much as I was the first time.

  1. trichdr says:

    Wow, good for you. I really understand your anxiety about the initial visit and am so happy it went well for you. Audrey sounds great and I’m glad you too clicked. I can’t wait to here how it turns out. If you would post a picture of the final result that would be great, maybe one from the wedding with you all dolled up ;). If not I understand the hesitation, I never like to post pictures of my hair.


  2. trichdr says:

    Reblogged this on Trichy Insights and commented:
    Getting the courage to go back to the salon after a bad experience is impressive. This shows that there can be good experiences, and it pays off to face your fears.


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